UMRLICA - OBITUARY: THE SAD PASSING OF COMMON SENSE

• Published on March 16, 2015
• https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/obituary-sad-passing-common-sense-ian-mutch

Ian Mutch 

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned, but overbearing, regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teenagers suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they had themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer paracetamol, sun lotion or plaster to a pupil, but could not inform the parents when a pupil became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home, but the burglar could sue you for assault because you protected yourself and your own.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realised that he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Author Unknown

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/obituary-sad-passing-common-sense-ian-mutch

The Death of Common Sense

http://www.loriborgman.com/1998/03/15/the-death-of-common-sense/

March 15, 1998 by Lori Borgman

Three yards of black fabric enshroud my computer terminal. I am mourning the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense. His obituary reads as follows: Common Sense, aka C.S., lived a long life, but died from heart failure at the brink of the millennium. No one really knows how old he was, his birth records were long ago entangled in miles and miles of bureaucratic red tape. Known affectionately to close friends as Horse Sense and Sound Thinking, he selflessly devoted himself to a life of service in homes, schools, hospitals and offices, helping folks get jobs done without a lot of fanfare, whooping and hollering.

Rules and regulations and petty, frivolous lawsuits held no power over C.S. A most reliable sage, he was credited with cultivating the ability to know when to come in out of the rain, the discovery that the early bird gets the worm and how to take the bitter with the sweet.

C.S. also developed sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adult is in charge, not the kid) and prudent dietary plans (offset eggs and bacon with a little fiber and orange juice).

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, the Technological Revolution and the Smoking Crusades, C.S. survived sundry cultural and educational trends including disco, the men’s movement, body piercing, whole language and new math. C.S.’s health began declining in the late 1960s when he became infected with the If-It-Feels-Good, Do-It virus.

In the following decades, his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal and state rules and regulations and an oppressive tax code. C.S. was sapped of strength and the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, criminals received better treatment than victims and judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional baseball and golf.

His deterioration accelerated as schools implemented zero-tolerance policies. Reports of 6-year-old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing classmates, a teen suspended for taking a swig of Scope mouthwash after lunch, girls suspended for possessing Midol and an honor student expelled for having a table knife in her school lunch were more than his heart could endure.

As the end neared, doctors say C.S. drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding regulations on low-flow toilets and mandatory air bags. Finally, upon hearing about a government plan to ban inhalers from 14 million asthmatics due to a trace of a pollutant that may be harmful to the environment, C.S. breathed his last.

Services will be at Whispering Pines Cemetery. C.S. was preceded in death by his wife, Discretion; one daughter, Responsibility; and one son, Reason. He is survived by two step-brothers, Half-Wit and Dim-Wit.

Memorial Contributions may be sent to the Institute for Rational Thought. Farewell, Common Sense. May you rest in peace.

http://www.loriborgman.com/1998/03/15/the-death-of-common-sense/

Soham

Oh dear, how very true and how very sad

Like · Reply · Feb 4, 2016 12:52pm

Owner-operator at BWLee Painting

A fitting epitaph for CS. He is dearly missed!

Like · Reply · 2 · Mar 4, 2016 10:43am

Isn't it a wonder c.s. Survived these many years in our age of cell phones and dim wit tv programming?

Like · Reply · 1 · Mar 5, 2016 5:42pm

University of Southwestern Louisiana

Common sense is neither, anymore! —Don

Like · Reply · 1 · Mar 27, 2016 6:56am

University of Phoenix

Common sense it just about gone you have to be older to have this and it can't be taught. I don't like this for the younger people.

Yes he is gon since PC-Political Corectness is an excuse for anything.

Like · Reply · May 4, 2016 12:10pm

That is the problem

Like · Reply · May 4, 2016 12:12pm

Greenwood, Indiana

This should be required reading for all if us. We could ponder it and then have a great discussion of how we miss Common Sense.

Like · Reply · May 16, 2016 5:45pm

Greenwood, Indiana

Brenda

Like · Reply · May 16, 2016 5:46pm

West Jordan, Utah

It is so true I fail to see the humor.

Like · Reply · May 20, 2016 11:57am

Financial Adviser at Peter Starr

The Death of Common Sense

Like · Reply · May 23, 2016 12:00pm

A good friend. Always had my back.

Like · Reply · May 24, 2016 7:16am

A good friend. Always had my back

Like · Reply · May 24, 2016 7:17am

Lori...I came across a paraphrased version of your essay and I am including it in my weekly article for our local newspaper. I have seen it published in various locations and have always admired your style. This is the first time that I have read your essay in its entirety and even knew who originated the piece. Thank you for your amazing wit and eloquence!

Like · Reply · May 29, 2016 8:54am

Half wit and dim wit are alive and well living in the white house

Like · Reply · Oct 17, 2016 11:35am

Purdue University

Brilliant piece of work. Sorry I got an abridged version; that's the folly of FB.

Like · Reply · Oct 21, 2016 6:55pm

Műszaki-iroda vezető at Solymári Polgármesteri Hivatal

R.I.P.

Like · Reply · Dec 29, 2016 1:28pm

Seems as if it could have really been poison that did in C.S. Whodunnit? We should get an indictment for my suspect, Dumbth. (that's a book, BTW)

Like · Reply · Mar 1, 2017 6:55am

Should be read in front of all the protestors this year of 2017, in every city, especially Austin Tx, before they get a permit to clog the streets with their petty rants and raves.

Like · Reply · Mar 9, 2017 3:15am

It's alive and well in my household of 1 LOL

Like · Reply · May 5, 2017 9:17pm

Only God can ressurrect him. He will live again one day Im sure.

Like · Reply · Aug 19, 2017 8:02pm

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