BIPOLAR DAY IN A LIFE *MIXED EPISODE*; 30:27 min. ; Ima Google prevod!

Published on Jan 30, 2018
Can't believe I'm uploading this. MOST vulnerable thing. Bipolar is hell sometimes and this was one of my worst days I've had in years.
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13 Signs of Depression (TO RECOGNIZE IN OTHERS):


Bipolar Disorder Symptoms: SEE THEM IN ACTION! 11:44 min. ; Ima Google prevod!

Polar Warriors
Published on Jan 31, 2018
Want MORE personal advice and helpful Bipolar videos that are not on YouTube? Consider becoming a Polar Warrior Patron here:

As we learn more about Bipolar Disorder, it will get easier to start noticing the patterns of predictable behavior that go with it...

At first, it can seem like there is "no method to the madness." As self-awareness increases, we might notice specific things that we DO or SAY - right before an episode happens. The same exact signs are often there and we don't have to be an expert or doctor to see them.

Sometimes the worst episodes of depression or mania start off with a simple statement like: "I hate my life," or on the flip-side "everything is wonderful and perfect!" If we can start to pay attention to these signs, it can be easier to prevent symptoms from escalating into a full-blown episode.

EXERCISE: Come up with a list of the things you or your loved one says or does - every time - at the FIRST signs of depression or mania. Make a list for both situations and add to it as needed. This is where the observations of those around us are crucial. When we are ill, sometimes it's easy to miss these "signs" - even if they are quite obvious to everyone around us. Eventually, you might be surprised to realize all the patterns and signs that were there this whole time. This is a great tool to add to your "Bipolar Toolbox" and I hope it helps!

If this is your first time visiting our channel, welcome to "the Polar Warrior club!" We are completely dedicated to helping individuals, families, and friends who struggle with, or know someone living with Bipolar Disorder. Our goal is to provide actual tools, tips, and discuss topics that can potentially help “Polar Warriors” grow to live a more balanced, peaceful, and fulfilling life. We truly hope these videos inspire & educate those interested in knowing more about this serious mental illness. PLEASE remember to subscribe so you don't miss a video that could impact your life in a profound way!

The Other Side of Me - inside my bipolar mind; 14:59 min.; Ima Google prevod!

Julie Kraft
Published on Apr 7, 2014
I could have easily kept my reality under wraps, hidden behind an airbrushed smile, but that would have only perpetuated the myth that I had all my 'ducks in a row', or even worse, made others feel as if they didn't. It is my greatest hope that in sharing my journey with bipolar disorder, I can offer insight into a 'world' that affects millions but is often misrepresented, misunderstood, feared or hidden. Every story has two sides, this is 'The Other Side of Me'.


- Julie Kraft
1 year ago (edited)
Just wanted to write and say a huge 'thank you' to everyone for your comments, support, and encouragement -- it all means so much and affirms that my journey is one worth sharing! To all those who have opened up and shared that you are struggling, please don't lose hope or ever give up! Living with a mental illness can feel like an uphill battle at times, but the light is always there and always returns, despite how dark and hopeless things may seem. I know I'm behind in responding to many of your comments - I'm sorry & please forgive me! At times, I can become easily overwhelmed and find it a struggle to answer even my own kids' texts! :) And so, despite my 'silence', please know that I appreciate each and every one of you and I wish you all the very best! xo

2 years ago (edited)
7:30 is one of the things I find hardest about bipolar. That "glimpse": seeing so clearly and so far... there is this big, bright world that's POSSIBLE and amazing and RIGHT THERE... and then all of a sudden you're overwhelmed and stuck in the mud, unable to figure out how to move forward. And all those things that were so bright and so clear and so real just seem to fade-- not entirely away, but just hazy enough that you can remember you had them right there, but you can't recall quite how to get to them again. You can't accomplish, you can't pursue.

I just end up feeling defeated, useless, and hopeless. I get this panic that I'll always get these visions of the possible, but never have the ability to make anything happen. And I wish I'd never seen them in the first place, because then I wouldn't feel so empty and unfulfilled.

I am grateful for being me SOMETIMES... but more often than not I hate this illness and I hate how my head works (or, doesn't). Sigh. "One day at a time" and all that, I guess.

- Julie Kraft
1 year ago
A huge hello to everyone who has taken the time to watch my journey and leave a comment. Although I haven't had the time to reply and thank each of you personally, please know that your kind words and support mean so very much to me! I initially had a lot of fear about sharing this 'side' of me. The stigma of mental illness back in 2014 was much greater than now, and stories of others walking a similar path were fewer and farther between. My fears were instantly put to rest. I was, and continue to be, overwhelmed by the understanding, empathy and acceptance that others have showered on me! To hear that my story resonates with so many of you warms my heart -- we are not alone! I wouldn't trade in my bipolar disorder for anything else in this world. Yes, it has been hard and painful at times but Alex Elle's quote says it best, "I'm thankful for my struggle because, without it, I wouldn't have stumbled upon my strength." In the years since 'coming out' I have experienced the freedom that comes with living a life that is authentic, real and unmasked. I have had friends come and go, but the ones who surround me now are people who love me unconditionally and respect my boundaries - I feel safe to be 'me' whether I'm feeling on top of the world or needing my space. And sharing my deepest struggles has connected me the most amazing, creative, compassionate and inspiring people ... all over the world. We are all in absolutely fantastic company! Bipolar disorder, or any other mental health struggle, is manageable and although it's not always easy, it is more than possible to live a beautiful & fulfilling life! Yay, us! Thank you again to everyone for taking the time to share your stories, encouragement, and yes even a few criticisms with me! It's ALL good! j xo

Nancy Lay-King
1 year ago
I like the comment below, "You're not bipolar, you have bipolar." Watching my beloved, beautiful son traverse through this for the last four years has been at times scary, heartbreaking, and frustrating. The hardest thing is how my son is treated by his brother and other relatives. His father took off with another woman and the divorce after 27 years has continued to shake my son up. Stability in our family was so much of what kept him together. I feel helpless a lot of the time and worry what will happen to him once I'm gone. Everything I do is to set-up a safety net for him.

Deven Lee
1 year ago
Bipolar is what it is sometimes we're ok sometimes we're not, I get manic for the most part, a little depressed sometimes and then I don't care about anything or anyone I spend the days inside in my bedroom in bed sleeping now wanting to get up or do anything it can last for long time, sometimes weeks, months, and then all of a sudden the manic kicks in I'm on top off the world I'm like super human super happy, impossible on a shopping trip usually buying stuff etc ……
I got a good psychologist now and we're trying new drugs to bring me more level headed, it's ok but, even with all the medication I still get mood swings, it's just what it is
Thank for sharing your a good person

Monsieur Tea
2 years ago
Hi Julie. Thank you for opening up and sharing a private part of your life story. I was recently diagnosed BPD-II with complicated combat PTSD (was former green beret, US Army Special Forces) and just like you it has taken me a long time to come to terms with this illness. I guess it doesn't matter where you come from, who you are, what you've done etc, we are all human and react the way your so eloquently described in your video. I'm still embarrassed, but I am more open to talking about my condition and not being defined by it. Please keep posting these great videos!

Laura Bateman
2 years ago
Hi Julie, after watching your video and sharing it with my husband and mother, the few that know of my struggles , I purchased your book through Anazon and am 3 quarters of the way through it. I have two daughters who although don't know the extent of my mental illness (bipolar type 2) apart from it not just being mums tired, upset and not in the best of moods, they now getting to the age (10 and 8 years) where they know it's more than that and that its's not normal or ok to treat the ones you love that way (as you say in your book, your husband has always been your punching bag, as has mine!) and for my daughters to constantly be exposed to that as they have been is heartbreaking and not ok. In your beautifully presented book there has been so much that resonated with me! After ten years of experimenting with antidepressants, I never sought help for the highs as I thought it was the real me! I welcomed those unfortunately never long enough periods! During those days and if I'm lucky enough it can be weeks I am creative, energised, nothing can phase me, on top of the world, nothing can get down, I can tackle or be anything I want, social (I'm normally very quiet and reserved) and someone who gets so much done before whack!! My huge fall from grace where I can go into a very dark place! Thanks to your book and you tube vid which prompted me do so a lot of reading and research, I am now on a Med specificly bipolar targeted and am feeling hopeful! Not that it will completely fix it but hopefully put me in a better frame of mind, take the edge of and give me that extra spark to put it some extra work on improving myself , like going to see someone regularly to work on some things I'd love to improve eg. Treating my husband and kids with the respect they deserve!

Sorry for my very lengthy post, I just wanted to thank you your your honest and raw words and beautiful book!
Love Laura from little old New Zealand xx

- niks gee
2 years ago
Well done you Julie. I am 47, my friend said to me 'you have to let go of your pride'. It was hard for me to admit. I hid my bipolar since age 16, all of my life. Then at 41, my daughter died at birth, I developed severe PTSD. Eventually, I couldn't hide it anymore. I got help. Watching videos online, and reading articles online, helped me to understand Me. I am not ashamed. When I am up I am creative, what a wonderful life that is.... I was funny outgoing, intelligent..... but of course, I would also spend lots of money, I would also get into trouble. Then the depression would hit. After my daughter died, I couldn't hide it anymore. I would hide away when I was depressed, people didn't see me. My brain stopped working. Well done you, for standing up, it has taken me so many years 30 years.... for me to say this is me. I am bipolar - and you know, it's ok. I am ok being bipolar.

2 years ago
Before seeing this video, I was very curious about the symptoms of bipolar as well as wanting a comprehendible explanation for this condition, since the sites I had visited complicated it more than it should have, and after seeing this video, I now have a better understanding and I appreciate your courage to share your experience with other people who either have bipolar or know someone who has bipolar and it has warmed my heart. Thank you Julie for such an amazing and admirable video. I do hope that you're doing well now :)

10 Signs of BIPOLAR Disorder: How To Tell if Someone is Bipolar! 12:33 min.; Ima Google prevod!

Want MORE personal advice and helpful Bipolar videos that are not on YouTube? Consider becoming a Polar Warrior Patron here:

How to tell if someone is Bipolar... This video will go over 10 signs of mania AND 10 signs of Bipolar depression to help people identify common symptoms of Bipolar Disorder. Please keep in mind that this is a GENERAL GUIDE and not a definitive diagnosis. If you feel like you or a loved one might be experiencing Bipolar Disorder, it's very important that you speak with a medical professional as soon as possible. If you found this video helpful, let me know what you think in the comments section!

Welcome Polar Warriors! This channel is dedicated to helping individuals, families, and friends who struggle with, or know someone living “the Bipolar experience.” My goal is to provide actual tools, tips, and discuss topics that can potentially help you grow and live a more balanced, peaceful life. I truly hope you enjoy my videos and remember to subscribe so you don't miss a video that could help change your life!


-Rob Whittaker, Polar Warriors: Bipolar Support

Mariana Iniguez
7 months ago
I was just diagnosed and I’m crying watching this because I went so long believing I was a terrible human being for feeling and being the way I am. I just sent this to everyone I’m close to . This video really reassured me that I’m going to get through this . Thanks ❤️

Bella Bijou
4 weeks ago
People with bipolar disorder have a life filled with loss: lost family members, lost jobs, lost friends, lost relationships, lost homes, lost credit, lost dreams, lost hope. You can spot us because we live a hundred different lives in a hundred different places, untold number of different phone numbers. We just can’t seem to find where we belong. No place feels right for very long.

7 months ago
Don’t self diagnose until you have seen a doctor (;

Amanda denman
5 months ago
I’ve struggled with bipolar for A LONG time. My husband knew this when we got together. He ended being angry with me for feeling the way I felt yet would get mad at me that I took medication to help. I was stuck because I needed to see a physiatrist and I knew I needed medication for it but he would tell me I just wanted attention so I couldn’t get help because HE said I didn’t need it and it was all in my head. When I would get to my lowest when I wanted to die he tell me I was worthless and lazy. I left him about 3 weeks ago. I’m slowly trying to get a hold on my life again.

Soul Music 16
4 months ago (edited)
I can clean all day. And I can be by myself all day . I hate going outside in the daytime. I hate Crowds. I love listening to music and cartoons all day . I love to be alone I hate talking to people. I take showers twice a day everyday. I do laundry every 3 days . I don't trust people to cook for me. I have to go shopping by myself. I have to do things for me By myself .thank you for your videos. I hate taking pills . I hate Drugs of any kind good or Bad. I hate waking up next to a person. I love waking up by myself. I hate waking up to Noise , especially LOUD noises. I hate when someone touches me to wake me . I was molested and abused as a Child. I will be this way for the rest of my Life. I hate when people walk in my house with their shoes on. I hate when people don't wash their hands when they Come from outside or use the bathroom. I wash my milk and soda bottles before I put them in the refrigerator. I hate touching chicken when I cook it. Goodnight or Good morning to all .

Rascal Ragdoll182
5 months ago
I have bipolar and ptsd. It’s such a horrible combination. I’m more often depressed, I isolate myself all the time, but when my mania hits I’m bouncing off the walls, try to be social, spend money I don’t have and act like my life is great, even though I have been in my room for months alone. I honestly love when it kicks in.. recently my drinking got out of hand and I got blackout drunk 2x in a single week or two span while being social. I also get overwhelmed easily and have outbursts which often times seem uncalled for. If it’s not one, it’s the other affecting me to act a certain way. Most people don’t get it and it’s really hard to explain or even realize when I’m doing things. Meds help and therapy too. The depression signs are totally on point though. It’s a struggle and I came here to learn.

Sarah Lundeen
5 months ago
I'm isolating in my room now✌

crazy burrito
4 weeks ago
5 Powerful affirmations to repeat every day:
I lover my self
I forgive my self
I take care of my self
I respect my self
I accept my self ( no reserves)

- de marullo
3 months ago
Great facts.. I go up and down like a roller coaster every day. Rapid cycling??? Depression and anxiety at same time...when younger my mania got me thru school and work.. never tired.. then depression would hit.. about 2-5 days and back to high energy.
Now, yrs later, depression and anxiety are my normals.. how I wish for mania energy. Now I did recently go thru a life altering experience.. a leg amputation, which is the elephant in the room.. I'm only now coming to terms with my loss...and not fuels my drive and being home I worry more especially about $$$.
I have too much responsibility...a disabled child I care for alone. And at times I literally drag myself out of bed just to meet her needs.
I am on lamactil which helps and buspirone for anxiety but I still have both depression and anxiety and very little energy. Having diabetes and Crohns also zaps my energy but I'm seriously trying. Talk therapy helps but I live in NC and health insurance here sucks. I am trying though.

Leo Paul
4 months ago
This for me was both heartbreaking and heartwarming. No, I'm not bipolar, my sister is. I'm quite a bit older and she moved to a different state. She worried me since she turned about 15 yrs. Out of control. I would just say she's nuts, not realizing she actually had a mental condition. She was never diagnosed until the age of 50!
All these years she was planing, making absurd demands from many.
My question is: Can an overlapping condition also be involved with Bipolar? I'm obviously not a Doctor but I see more Sociopath tendencies in her. Very smart and conniving manipulation and can hone in on most of everyones weaknesses. Generosity of time, caring and cash are her favorite themes.
I do love her but she's a lot of work and I can no longer take the underhanded abuse. I will allow her in my home but I had to for my own sanity let our communications be limited.

- CageySole
1 month ago (edited)
Really, thank you for this video!! I'm soon 19 and I've struggled for the past 6 years. The struggle have just kept growing and I didn't understand a shit about what was going on. I've talked to a psychologist and I got to know that I was suffering from depression and anxiety. I think I might have bipolar but I CAN'T know for sure just by myself. Anyway I'm soon finished with high school and I have all this shit in my life and I'm a introvert. I'm also super shy, socialy awkward, can barely talk to my friends like a normal person and I'm super bad with girls. Well I'll see how life goes on then.

dtz jones
7 months ago
I know I have bipolar amongst other mental health illnesses I've been diagnosed and that process took along time.It may sound weird but when you've been diagnosed it makes you feel better because you now know what your dealing with and with medication for the right mental health illness it helps it's still very hard work a daily battle and sometimes I know it can take years to get the balance right.The Guy in this video made some sense for instance it can affect your body I had severe back pain and bad knees and I'm able to manage that better now with exercise's that help also I bought books how to manage pain so I can exercise in my own home as I don't like mixing with people.I wish everyone peace off mind and hope you can find help💗🙏

- Aliba Aliba
3 months ago (edited)
I don't know what happened to me, I feel so alone and sometimes, I feel to cried out violently and i cannot control my tears, while I'm at aggressive or upset that's why people can't get me so.. well,,, I've nothing eaten since 2 days or sometime it takes 3 days I cannot control my emotions I was just keep hurt my self in this way at every week!! I feel nobody can understand me or sometimes I don't want to involve with people... but actually I think the truth is,,,I have no serious issues in my life for that i should be behave like this @polar warrior

I Was Forced To Go To A Mental Hospital; 9:35 min.

Alivia Marie
Published on Jan 9, 2017
A video talking about the time I went into a mental hospital. What a time. #MentalMonday is the new series in which every Monday I talk about a different thing relating to mental health. WHAT. A. TIME.
Support me:
Find Me On;
My last video:

Intro and Endslate by;
Jesse Gilbert |

Suicide survivor Perspective..............

January 16, 2019 ShareFacebookTwitterGoogle+


Douglas A. Landy, MD

(Part 1 in a series)
On April 12, 2011, I tried to kill myself.
I have bipolar II disorder, diagnosed after my suicide attempt. On that day, I had been in a mixed hypomanic/depressed state, forced to face the fact that I’d been doing something that was wrong and seen as bad by others. Sex is a common theme in mania and hypomania, and I saw nothing wrong with writing erotic fiction instead of working during the day, and then sharing it with my coworkers. I kept rewriting the stories, making them more and more explicit, in a vain attempt to match the hypomanic eroticism in my mind. As a result, people complained, and I was placed on administrative leave the moment I came to work that morning.
I remember sitting with the executive director of the hospital where I worked when he told me I was being placed on administrative leave, and that the human resources department would not allow him to tell me why. He said they would contact me to let me know, and all I needed to know was that I was to leave the premises immediately and stay away until further notice. I had a sneaking suspicion as to what the problem was, and I left as asked. I stopped to get a small pad of paper, went to a Starbucks, and while I sipped my tea, I wrote a suicide note which I left in the car for my wife to find after I was gone.
I was absolutely certain my professional life was over. And if that was the case, so was my personal life. I felt I had disappointed and ruined family, friends, and acquaintances, who would forever see me as useless and a disappointment. The shame and humiliation were unbearable. Telling people what had happened, what I had done, was a horrifying thought. I felt there was no other option left for me other than to hide forever. Death was the one thing that made sense, as if I’d been up for three days straight and all I wanted to do was to sleep, forever. I wanted to be securely in the grave beyond blame, beyond recrimination, beyond shame, beyond family, beyond friends or hope. It seemed there was truly nothing left.
Rereading these words doesn’t express a tiny fraction of how awful I felt. It seems that in that moment, I switched from hypomania to depression. I went to the medicine cabinet and took all of my medications at once. I laid down and waited for death to overtake me.
When I woke and realized I had failed, an even more profound sense of hopelessness overwhelmed me, and I laid in bed for 3 or 4 days, getting up only to have a drink of water now and then. My wife kept asking me what the problem was, but I had no energy or interest in responding. Eventually she more or less dragged me to the doctor to whom I admitted my suicide attempt. He arranged for immediate hospitalization and my life started to turn around.
A Survivor’s Perspective
I plan to write a series of blog posts about suicidefrom the perspective of a survivor. Being a mental health clinician, I have spent the time since my attempt trying to understand myself from many different perspectives and hope to share these hard-won insights with you. Let me start with some background.
I’ve been more often depressed than hypomanic. My hypomania comes about most commonly in relation to having been administered testosterone since my levels are low, and low testosterone can be used to treat depression. Unfortunately for me, the testosterone switched me from depression to hypomania 3 times that it was tried, the above being the last.
I am now 63 and first had depression at the age of 21, after the loss of my first serious relationship. There were episodes of depression throughout my life, which responded to SSRIs. There is also a strong history of depression in my family; both of my sisters have been depressed, my father had problems with depression later in life, and my mother had panic disorder. Family members beyond first-degree relatives have had difficulties with anxiety and depression as well.
For those of us who’ve experienced depression, it’s been a psychosocial stressor that has tilted us into the pit of despair: one sister with a postpartum depression, another with problems with her children, and me with a sense of loss of personal and professional identity.
In my case, the sense of loss of such identity was ineluctably intertwined with a sense of isolation and hopelessness. The certainty of ghastly loneliness and being misunderstood, even willfully so by others (which is how I felt) both led to the final common pathway of self-destruction as the only way out of the morass.
This introductory blog is here to explain why I have the views that I do about suicide, from a clinician-survivor. The coming blog posts will review what I’ve learned about myself and other suicidal patients, and how that can help your work with them. I hope the hard-earned skills I’ve developed can be of use to you and beneficial to your patients.

Walther A, Breidenstein J, Miller R. Association of testosterone treatment with alleviation of depressive symptoms in men: a systematic review and meta-analysis. JAMA Psychiatry. 2018 Nov 14;[Epub ahead of print].

Douglas A. Landy, MD, graduated Hahnemann University School of Medicine (now part of Drexel University) in 1983. He is a board-certified psychiatrist, and practices primarily in an inpatient setting with additional work in the Emergency Room and nursing home consultations. He has had experience in sleep medicine and forensic psychiatry, and has an interest in traumatic brain injury. He lives in Rochester, New York


Treating Bipolar Disorder in Women

In this video, Marlene Freeman, MD, discusses how bipolar disorder differs in women, how clinicians should tailor bipolar disorder treatment for women, and the risks associated with untreated bipolar disorder in pregnant women. Dr. Freeman is Associate Director, Massachusetts General Hospital Center for Women's Mental Health, Boston, Massachusetts. 

 Dr. Julie Carbray Shares Tips on Diagnosing Bipolar Disorder and DMDD

 -disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD)

Psych Congress Steering Committee member Julie Carbray, PhD, FPMHNP-BC, PMHCNS-BC, APRN, discusses why bipolar disorder is often misdiagnosed, differentiating bipolar disorder from depression and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, and signs of disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD).

Dr. Carbray is Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Nursing and Administrative Director, Pediatric Mood Disorder Program, University of Illinois at Chicago.


Activity Boosts Mood in Adults With Bipolar Disorder

Increasing physical activity appears to boost mood and energy in adults—especially so in those with bipolar I disorder, according to a study published online in JAMA Psychiatry.

The study focused on a community sample of 242 men and women, including 25 people with bipolar I disorder, 29 with bipolar II disorder, 91 with major depressive disorder, and 97 control subjects with no history of a mood disorder. Researchers used activity trackers to measure physical activity and electronic diaries to assess perceived energy levels and mood over 2 weeks. Participants rated their mood and energy levels 4 times a day (morning, lunchtime, dinnertime, and before bed) using seven-point scales that spanned “very happy” to “very sad” and “very tired” to “very energetic.”

On average, a higher activity level at one time point (such as morning) was linked with improved mood and increased perceived energy at the subsequent time point (such as lunchtime). Similarly, an increased perceived energy level at one time point was associated with increased activity at the next.

Physical activity had an inverse association with sleep duration. More activity was generally followed by less sleep at night, while more sleep tended to lead to less activity the next day.

Among participants with bipolar I disorder, changes in internal psychological states were strongly influenced by sleep and physical activity, the study found. Researchers pointed out, however, that many current interventions for mood, sleep, and activity tend to focus on one particular system rather than consider the collective impact of the systems. They’d like to apply their findings to interventions to offset depressive episodes in patients with bipolar disorder.

“These findings suggest that interventions focused on motor activity and energy may have greater efficacy than current approaches that target depressed mood,” researchers wrote, adding that “both active and passive tracking of multiple regulatory systems are important in designing therapeutic targets.”

—Jolynn Tumolo



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