Lying - Kako rerci kada nego laze?

http://parade.com/57236/viannguyen/former-cia-officers-share-6-ways-to-tell-if-someones-lying/6/

Ways to Tell If Someone's Lying

JULY 25, 2013

Former CIA officers Philip Houston, Michael Floyd, and Susan Carnicero distilled their professional deception-detecting skills into a fascinating book, Spy the Lie, now available in paperback. In the excerpt below, the authors reveal six telltale signs someone is lying.

1. Behavioral pause or delay
You ask a person a question and you initially get nothing. After a delay, he begins to respond. How long does a delay have to be before it’s meaningful, before you would consider it a deceptive indicator? Well, it depends.

Try this exercise on a friend: Ask her the question, “On this date seven years ago, what were you doing that day?” The person will invariably pause before responding, because it’s not a question that naturally evokes an immediate response—the person has to think about it, and likely still won’t be able to offer a meaningful response. Now ask her, “On this date seven years ago, did you rob a gas station?” If your friend pauses before responding, you probably need to choose your friends more carefully. Much more likely, there will be no pause—your friend will immediately respond, “No!” or “Of course not!” It’s a simple exercise, but it drives home the point that the delay needs to be considered in the context of whether it’s appropriate for the question.

2. Verbal/non-verbal disconnect
Our brains are wired in a way that causes our verbal and nonverbal behaviors to naturally match up. So when there’s a disconnect, we consider that a potential deceptive indicator.

A common verbal/nonverbal disconnect to watch out for occurs when a person nods affirmatively while saying, “No,” or turns his head from side to side while saying, “Yes.” As an exercise, if you were to perform that mismatch in response to a question, you’d find that you really have to force yourself through the motion. Yet, a deceptive person will potentially do it without even thinking about it.

There are a couple of caveats associated with this particular indicator. First, this indicator is only applicable in a narrative response, not in a one-word or short-phrase response. Consider, for example, that a person’s head might make a sharp nodding motion when he says “No!” That’s not a disconnect; it’s simple emphasis. Second, it’s important to keep in mind that in some cultures, a nodding motion doesn’t mean “yes,” and a side-to-side head motion doesn’t mean “no.”

3. Hiding the mouth or eyes
A deceptive person will often hide her mouth or eyes when she’s being untruthful. There is a natural tendency to want to cover over a lie, so if a person’s hand goes in front of her mouth while she’s responding to a question, that’s significant. Similarly, there’s a natural inclination to shield oneself from the reaction of those who are being lied to. If a person shields her eyes while she’s responding to a question, what she might well be indicating, on a subconscious level, is that she can’t bear to see the reaction to the whopper she’s telling. This shielding may be accomplished with a hand, or the person might even close her eyes. We’re not referring to blinking here, but if a person closes her eyes while responding to a question that does not require reflection to answer, we consider that a means of hiding the eyes, and a likely deceptive indicator.

4. 4. Throat-clearing or swallowing
If a person clears his throat or performs a significant swallow prior to answering the question, that’s a potential problem. If he does it after he answers, that doesn’t bother us. But if he does it before he answers, a couple of things might be happening. He might be doing the nonverbal equivalent of the verbal “I swear to God…”—dressing up the lie in its Sunday best before presenting it to us. Or physiologically, the question might have created a spike in anxiety, which can cause discomfort or dryness in the mouth and throat.

5. Hand-to-face activity
Be on the lookout for anything a person does with his face or in the head region in response to your question. This often takes the form of biting or licking the lips, or pulling on the lips or ears. The reason goes back to simple high school science. You’ve asked a question, and the question creates a spike in anxiety because a truthful response would be incriminating. That, in turn, triggers the autonomic nervous system to go to work to dissipate the anxiety, draining blood from the surfaces of the face, the ears, and the extremities—which can create a sensation of cold or itchiness. Without the person even realizing it, his hands are drawn to those areas, or there’s a wringing or rubbing of the hands. Boom!—you’ve spotted a deceptive indicator.

6. Grooming gestures
Another way that some people may dissipate anxiety is through physical activity in the form of grooming oneself or the immediate surroundings.

When responding to a question, a deceptive man might adjust his tie or shirt cuffs, or maybe his glasses. An untruthful woman might move a few strands of hair behind her ear, or straighten her skirt. We’re also concerned with sweat management. That a person might be sweating doesn’t bother us, but if he takes out his handkerchief (or, perhaps more likely, a hand sans kerchief) and wipes the sweat off his brow when responding to a question, that’s significant. Tidying up the surroundings is another form of grooming gesture. You ask a question, and suddenly the phone isn’t turned the right way, the glass of water is too close, or the pencil isn’t in the right place.

Excerpted from SPY THE LIE: Former CIA Officers Teach You How to Detect Deception. Copyright © 2012 by Philip Houston, Michael Floyd, Susan Carnicero, and Don Tennant. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission of Griffin, an imprint of St. Martin’s Press.

Surviving Infidelity; 30:11 min: Ima prevod!

Published on Feb 5, 2016
Surviving Infidelity - Why do people cheat? What's considered cheating? And is one type of cheating worse than another? HuffPost Live dives into the murky waters of cheating to find some answers. Press rewind and watch some of our best conversations.
Category
People & Blogs
License
Standard YouTube License

011 - How to Get Your Spouse to Forgive You - and Heal the Resentment

Published on Jan 3, 2013
More information on http://liamnaden.com/yt

Is your marriage falling apart because your husband or wife can't (or won't) forgive you for what has happened in the past? Here's how to deal with it.
One of the most destructive elements of a relationship is lack of forgiveness which builds into resentment. Listen in this episode to Liam Naden explaining why your spouse may be unable or unwilling to forgive you. You can help them heal their hurt and resentment - if you go about it the right way.
Category
Howto & Style
License
Standard YouTube License

012-Surviving Infidelity: How to Forgive Your Spouse for an Affai

Published on Jan 11, 2013
For more information go to http://liamnaden.com/yt

Discover how you really can resolve your feelings of pain and offer your spouse true forgiveness for an affair.
Has your spouse been unfaithful to you and you find yourself unable to forgive them? Forgiveness is the key to moving ahead in a marriage but for something as devastating as an affair it can seem very difficult (if not impossible) to do.
In this episode Liam Naden discusses the steps you can take to get over the emotional pain caused by infidelity and bring true forgiveness into your heart.
Category
Howto & Style
License
Standard YouTube License

017 - How to Stop Your Husband or Wife from Having an Affair

Published on Jul 17, 2013
For more information go to http://liamnaden.com/yt

You CAN stop the affair - and get your marriage back together
Is your husband or wife having an affair? Are they even just 'rather too friendly' with someone (perhaps through texting, phone calls or Facebook) and you're worried it might become an affair. In this podcast episode Liam explains the things you should and should NOT do to help bring the affair to an end, and rebuild the loving bond and trust between you.
Category
Howto & Style
License
Standard YouTube License

Infidelity: What every couple should know; 31:27 Min.; Ima prevod!

Uploaded on Mar 28, 2011
http://www.MarriageBuilders.com - Dr. Harley provides helpful information about infidelity and how to recover. His expertise on the subject of infidelity is the product of helping thousand of couples through the pain of restoring their marriage into a relationship that both the husband and wife enjoy.
Category
Education
License
Standard YouTube License

Find Healing After the Affair with Dr. Janis Spring; 45:03; Ima prevod!

Published on Apr 21, 2016
Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring—board-certified clinical psychologist and author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful—discusses what it takes for couples to move on after an affair, including:

1. What drives a person to be unfaithful?
2. What happens to the “hurt partner” after an affair is revealed?
3. How can couples rebuild trust?
4. How can couples restore intimacy in the bedroom?
Category
People & Blogs
License
Standard YouTube License

The gifts of infidelity | Kelsey Grant | TEDx; 11:28 Min. ; Ima prevod!

Published on Aug 31, 2015
In this talk, Kelsey tells the story of her lover's infidelity. While at first heartbroken, she was able to pull three "gifts" from the experience, and is grateful for it and where it took her and her partner.

Kelsey Grant is passionate about living in a world where people feel inspired, fulfilled, balanced and happy within the expansiveness of their intimate relationships. As a Relationship Coach rooted in Radical Self Love Methodology, her writing has been featured on various platforms such as My Tiny Secrets, One Life Momentum, Independent Awakening and Young and Raw.

When she is not writing about love or supporting coaches, thought leaders and game changers in accessing greater alignment for their leadership and relationships to thrive, she is busy running a local sisterhood circle that is a safe space for women to share what is really going on behind the scenes of their lives.

Currently, she is teaching “The Alchemy Of Love” program- her flagship series designed to create proper space from the inside out, for love to emerge in a greater way than ever before.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
Category
Nonprofits & Activism
License
Standard YouTube License

No Sex Marriage – Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating and Shame | Maureen McGrath | TEDxStanleyPark; 21:55 Min; Ima prevod!

Published on Jul 6, 2016
Love? Marriage? Sex? Can a married couple have all three? Perhaps it’s unrealistic since so many marriages end in divorce today. Why is that? One reason might be that a reported 20% of all marriages are sexless and that number is rising. Why have we lost the lust in our marriages? Is it technology, is it trust? More importantly, how can we “get back at it” in our marriages today?

Maureen McGrath - nursetalk@hotmail.com - hosts the Sunday Night Sex Show on News Talk 980 CKNW. She is a Registered Nurse, Sex Educator and author of “Sex & Health".

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
Category
Nonprofits & Activism
License
Standard YouTube License

Why I stopped watching porn | Ran Gavrieli | TEDxJaffa ; 15:57 Min ; Ima prevod!

Published on Oct 26, 2013
Never miss a talk! SUBSCRIBE to the TEDx channel: http://bit.ly/1FAg8hB

Ran Gavrieli lives in Tel Aviv and studies gender at Tel Aviv University. He works with youth and adults all over the country in sex and gender studies and in building positive self image in a world inundated by sexual imagery with negative connotations.

Ran writes and lectures about emotional and physical safe sex; porn and porn-influenced cultural damages; gender and power relations; and sex and intimacy.

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations).

For more information on this particular TEDx event, see http://www.tedxjaffa.com
Category
Nonprofits & Activism
License
Standard YouTube License

Making sex normal | Debby Herbenick | TEDxBloomington; 12:28 Min; Ima prevod!

Published on May 5, 2013
The belief that human beings -- throughout their lives -- deserve to have access to accurate information about their bodies and sexuality drives much of Debby Herbenick's work. Among her greatest passions is translating sexual science to the general public through teaching, books, columns, podcasts, television, social media, blogging, crafting, public art, and her latest project: Make Sex Normal. Herbenick is a research scientist at Indiana University's School of Public Health-Bloomington, co-director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, and sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. The author of five books about sex and love, her latest is "Sex Made Easy: Your Awkward Questions Answered for Better, Smarter, Amazing Sex" (Running Press, 2012). She is also one of the lead investigators of the largest nationally representative studies about sex in America, the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. @DebbyHerbenick

Websites: makesexnormal.tumblr.com mysexprofessor.com

The great porn experiment | Gary Wilson | TEDxGlasgow; 16:28 Min. ; Ima prevod!

Published on May 16, 2012
Never miss a talk! SUBSCRIBE to the TEDx channel: http://bit.ly/1FAg8hB

In response to Philip Zimbardo's "The Demise of Guys?" TED talk, Gary Wilson asks whether our brains evolved to handle the hyperstimulation of today's Internet enticements. He also discusses the disturbing symptoms showing up in some heavy Internet users, the surprising reversal of those symptoms, and the science behind these 21st century phenomena.

More About Gary Wilson

Gary is host of www.yourbrainonporn.com. The site arose in response to a growing demand for solid scientific information by heavy Internet erotica users experiencing perplexing, unexpected effects: escalation to more extreme material, concentration difficulties, sexual performance problems, radical changes in sexual tastes, social anxiety, irritability, inability to stop, and obsessive-compulsive symptoms.

As a physiology teacher with a particular interest in the latest neuroscience discoveries, Gary was aware that their symptoms might be the result of addiction-related brain changes. Applying the website's concepts of brain plasticity, many former users have braved withdrawal, reversed their symptoms and restored normal sexual responsiveness.

The site has been linked to from hundreds of threads in forums from over thirty countries, with posts numbering in the thousands. Gary blogs for "Psychology Today" and "The Good Men Project" on the extreme plasticity of adolescent brains, the evolutionary context for today's flood of novel cyber "mates," and the neurochemical reasons why superstimulating Internet delivery has unexpected effects on the brain.

Many thanks to Pat Somers of Slow Moving Pictures for the skillful editing of this video.

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
Category
Education
License
Standard YouTube License

Growing Up in a Pornified Culture | Gail Dines | TEDxNavesink TEDx Talks TEDx Talks; 13:47 Min. ; Ima prevod!

Published on Apr 28, 2015
Popular culture bombards us with hypersexualized images of women and men, conveying powerful images that help shape our sexuality. Dr. Gail Dines, recipient of the Myers Center Award for the Study of Human Rights in North America, sociology and women's studies professor, and porn industry researcher and writer, explores how masculinity and femininity are shaped by pornified images that spill over into our most private worlds. In Dr. Gail Dines' compelling talk, she exposes the effects of porn culture on pop culture and the impact on children and young adults growing up in a pornified culture today, addressing how nonprofit organization Culture Reframed is "solving the public health crisis of the digital age".

Popular culture bombards us with hyper-sexualized images of idealized women and men, conveying powerful messages that help shape sexuality. Dr. Gail Dines explores how masculinity and femininity are shaped by pornified images that spill over into our most private worlds.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
Category
Nonprofits & Activism
License
Standard YouTube License

You are what you watch; 14:13 Min. ; Ima prevod!

Uploaded on Feb 28, 2012
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
Category
Nonprofits & Activism
License
Standard YouTube License

===========================================================================================================

https://personalexcellence.co/blog/lack-of-physical-spark/

What If I Have a Lack of Physical Spark with My Partner?

By Celestine Chua | Love & Dating, Relationships

Couple kissing. Image: stephen frith

Dear Madaline, I’m so sorry to hear about your breakup. I hope that you have been healing well and that you have already read my moving on series, where I share tips on moving on from a relationship.

So first off, to all ladies and men, you should never, ever feel pressurized into physical intimacy with your boyfriend or partner. It doesn’t matter how much he wants it, how much he tries to convince you, and how strongly he feels about it. If your boyfriend wants to be physically intimate but you don’t, it’s a no. Even if he threatens to break up, it’s still a no. If anything, him threatening or changing his tone/interest after you deny him intimacy is a red flag of his priorities and real interest in you. Physical intimacy should come out of your desire and interest to be intimate with your partner, not out of pressure from him.

You didn’t share specifics about the “lack of spark” your ex-boyfriend mentioned, so I’m going to make some assumptions here.

Did he want more physical intimacy but he didn’t get that? Did he want sexual intimacy (or more of it) but he didn’t get it?
Or did he get physical intimacy, in terms of the kind of intimacy and the frequency, but he felt a lack of chemistry during these times?

Either way, let me address them accordingly.

4 Components of a Relationship

I see every relationship as having 4 components: Mind, Body, Heart, and Soul.

Mind is intellectual, mental compatibility; the ability to share ideas, talk about them.
Heart is emotional compatibility; the ability to open up and be vulnerable, to have shared emotions and to empathize easily with each other.
Soul is spiritual compatibility, which I think is not very relevant for the purpose of this article and is also somewhat abstract, so I’m not going to go into this here.
Body refers to physical compatibility, which includes physical attraction to your partner and sexual compatibility. By physical attraction, I don’t mean “love at first sight” because contrary to popular opinion, physical attraction can grow over time as you know someone, even if you didn’t find the person attractive initially. I wrote about this before here: Are Looks Important in a Marriage Decision?

For any romantic connection to progress, it needs to have compatibility in at least one area — Mind, Body, Heart, Soul. If there is emotional compatibility, it creates a stable base for compatibility to be built in the other areas: mind, body, and/or soul. Same if there is existing mental compatibility; it allows for compatibility to be built in the areas of body, heart, and/or soul. Same for physical compatibility.

Note that I’m referring to the potential for a romantic connection to progress, not criteria for marriage which is a different thing.

So take for example, someone is a strong intellectual fit with you (mental compatibility) but he is a complete ass. On the other hand, you want a sensitive partner who cares about your feelings. Clearly there is no emotional compatibility here.

But perhaps he is a nice person at heart and behind his blunt words are good intentions. Maybe he is not aware of his bluntness, and if given the chance, he wants to express himself in a more sensitive way. Here, there is potential for emotional compatibility. Even if there is no emotional compatibility now, it doesn’t mean that there won’t be in the future. So it’s not the end of this connection, and it’s about nurturing it to see how it can grow.

But what if there is both emotional and mental compatibility, but no physical compatibility? What should you do?

When There is a Lack of Physical Spark

Three things to note:

It depends on how important physical compatibility is to you.
It depends on your immediate “expectations” for this relationship, whether you’re looking at it short term or long term.
You have to consider that everyone has the ability to grow, so what’s more important is the person’s desire to grow and his/her interest in this area. Just because someone isn’t physically compatible with you now doesn’t mean he/she won’t be forever.

So this is where it gets subjective. There are people to whom physical intimacy is very, very important. They need physical intimacy, they connect with their partners using sex as their language of love and perhaps as a form of release, and they don’t have any notion for or against premarital sex. So for these folks, ONS’s (one-night stands) and flings are a norm, and they see sexual intimacy early on in a relationship as normal and necessary. If you are someone who doesn’t care too much about physical intimacy and sex isn’t your primary language of love, and you are with someone who prioritizes sexual intimacy above all things, then this connection is probably not going to work for long (unless one or both of you change in this area).

But then there are people to whom physical intimacy is important, but emotional/mental compatibility is even more important. To them, sex/ physical intimacy is just one component of the relationship, so they focus on looking for a partner with whom they can connect emotionally/mentally first, before looking at other areas. For such people, they select their partners based on their emotional and mental connection first, and then let their physical closeness with each other build up naturally, rather than filtering people based on physical intimacy.

So I have a friend who was with her boyfriend for 3 years before they got married. During their courtship they weren’t sexually intimate, though her boyfriend was previously sexually involved with his exes. They were, however, kissing, hugging, cuddling, etc. like with most modern couples. They are now married with a kid, and their relationship is one of the healthiest among the people I know.

For myself, my primary language of love is not physical touch; it’s communication and words. I like to speak to connect with my partner, to know how he is doing, and to know him on a deeper level. On the other hand, Ken had many relationships in the past and he was pretty much sexually involved with all his past partners, including flings and ONS’s.

But this disparity didn’t stop us from connecting deeply. For me, when I asked him what he thought about deferring sex, he said he didn’t care because the connection between us is stronger than what he had ever felt before. The whole notion of sex early on in the relationship, later, after marriage, or even never for some bizarre biological reason was a mere triviality. In a different relationship he might have been concerned as he had encountered sexual incompatibility issues with some partners before, but this concern simply didn’t come up for him with us. He said the whole thought of sex or no sex paled in comparison to what we have. I happen to think his views are a little extreme (no sex forever may be too much I think), but I wanted to share this as a differing point of view from the narrative we always hear (that men are all about sex).

Now I’m not trying to say that sexual intimacy isn’t important. Sexual/physical intimacy is important, and it is part and parcel of a successful relationship.

Bu sexual/physical intimacy, for the most part and for most couples, arises out of a strong emotional and mental compatibility. In the cases I’ve looked at, couples supposedly dealing with an issue with a lack of physical spark or physical incompatibility are always invariably dealing with emotional/mental compatibility issues of some kind. Even though they may think that they are dealing with a unique issue in sexual/physical incompatibility or mismatch in sex drives, there are usually underlying factors causing this issue, usually an incompatibility in other areas. For example, I knew someone who divorced his wife because they didn’t have sex at all in their entire marriage of 3-4 years. While it looked like an issue of physical incompatibility, when I dug deeper, it turned out that there was never a real emotional or intellectual connection to begin with, leading to sexual emptiness in the relationship.

It is also important to note that there may be changes in our lives (such as work stress, down periods in life, etc.) that create intimacy issues with our partners. This is again linked to emotional and life factors rather than real physical mismatches.

Which brings me to this point: Madaline, I suspect that the “lack of physical spark” is probably not the real reason for your breakup. There was probably a missing compatibility in some other area (emotional, shared visions, shared values, aspirations, whichever it is) that caused physical spark to both become an issue and the issue, following which it became the cause for the breakup.

Now this isn’t a bad thing. Rather I think it’s a good thing that both of you broke up, because whether it was due to reason X or Y, the point is that there was some incompatibility that caused “physical spark” to be an issue. So say if you were to change yourself hugely to fill the gap in “physical spark” due to your ex’s complaints, not only would you become a different person from your natural self, but you would also find yourself having to change more things to keep the relationship afloat, to fill up other areas of incompatibility. Or say your ex was truly looking for a lot of physical intimacy and it was the sole and only issue. Then the relationship simply wouldn’t work because that’s not how you naturally are or at least that’s not how you feel when you are around him (and there’s nothing wrong with this).

How to Build Physical “Spark”

So how should we deal with situations where there’s really a lack of physical spark, but there’s a strong emotional/mental connection? Like I said, I think most couples dealing with a lack of physical spark or physical incompatibility are really dealing with issues with other kinds of compatibility. There are exceptions where the gap in physical compatibility is really due to non-relationship factors (like a real biological mismatch or one’s deep-set fear toward physical intimacy), but those are the exceptions. Meaning if someone feels a lack of physical spark with their partner, I’d advise to look at the relationship fundamentals first vs. focusing on the physical component which is usually the effect.

But say you feel emotionally and mentally compatible with someone, and you’re fearful about being physically incompatible with him/her. What should you do?

Firstly, think of physical intimacy as a spectrum, not a binary “yes it’s there, no it’s not there” thing. Meaning, I wouldn’t worry about having instant physical chemistry with someone from that first act of intimacy (kissing, cuddling, etc.), but about building this chemistry over time.

Secondly, think of physical intimacy as having many stages. Kissing, hugging, cuddling, french kissing, petting, and so on. Even within each stage there are various degrees of progression. Depending on one’s comfort with physical closeness, some of these stages may only be done after marriage or later on in the relationship. Either way, you can already work on building chemistry within your range of comfort. For example, maybe you had a weird first kiss with your partner. Slobbery, wet, weird. But adopt a fun-loving, experimental mindset toward it and allow yourself to keep trying.

After a few tries, and as both of you get familiar with each other’s lips and kissing styles, kissing starts to feel normal between the both of you, and it starts to become something that you look forward to! Same for hugging, cuddling, french kissing, and any other physical activity.

Thirdly, let’s say there is zero connection when you kiss, hug, and even when you see your partner — like you don’t feel excited/happy at all when you see him/her. AND, you still don’t feel any connection after many weeks and months of being together. THEN yes, there may be a problem, and this is something you should talk about with your partner, to let him/her know how you feel, that there’s this issue, to understand the blockage, and so on.

End Note

In short, I wouldn’t worry too much about achieving an instant physical spark with someone or having no spark with future romantic prospects, unless you have some deeply rooted issues with intimacy (which I don’t think is the case for you, and which would be a separate thing altogether). Physical chemistry and compatibility is something you build with your partner, through open communication, understanding each other’s likes and dislikes, and an openness to explore new things.

Everyone has the ability to grow and develop, and one’s physical preference and inclination doesn’t stay fixed forever. Also, when you love someone and you’re emotionally connected, you will naturally want to be close with him/her vs. forcing yourself to kiss/ be intimate with him/her. It’s your role, as much as it’s your partner’s role, to build on your physical chemistry together vs. it being something that magically happens.

Interestingly, by looking at physical intimacy as something that grows organically and adopting an open and fun-loving mindset toward it, it puts less pressure on you and helps you focus on building your connection with your partner, which then provides the foundation on which strong physical intimacy is built on. 🙂